I'd rather hurt you honestly...

Sawasdee from Bangkok

2007-12-12T10:34:00.000+08:00

The last few days was spent walking through every shopping mall that we could find. I walked till my legs ached, and carried my loot till my hands hurt.

But it was all fun. :)

Will be heading for Hua Hin in less than 30 minutes time. Hua Hin will be purely R&R. Hopefully I can find sufficient money to actually go to the spa there.

I can't wait to be home on Saturday!! I miss home already.

i feel :: contented ::

pre-travel jitters

2007-12-09T00:53:00.000+08:00

My flight for BKK is in less than 8 hours. And for the first time in my life, I am having pre-travel jitters.

This is the first time I am traveling abroad with M. She might be a good friend of mine, but when it comes to traveling buddies I don't know if all will go well. I don't know how she is as a traveling partner and neither does she know how it feels like to travel with me.

I guess there is a first time for everything. Besides the small jitters, I am all ready to take on BKK and its shopping!

i feel :: hopeful ::

2007-12-07T01:33:00.000+08:00

Just finished watching the last 2 episodes of "One litre of tears" and I used up almost 3 whole packets of tissue paper.

The tears just kept flowing non-stop, from the start till the end of the 11 episodes. I don't even want to imagine how my eyes will look like tomorrow. I should watch some comedy now and hopefully the swollen eyes will go away.

I also took a very short still video of my very fat hamster. Pardon the amateur standard, but you can view it here

１リットルの淚

2007-12-03T01:50:00.000+08:00

This is what I've been kept busy with these few days.

A very touching show that really made me cry buckets. And this story is an adaptation from a real life story. This makes the whole drama even more real.

I have abalone eyes now, from all the crying.

All these dramas are morphing me into a hermit I can watch the dramas for the entire day.

Sigh~ The wonders of having a break after a crazy semester.

never too late to try

2007-11-29T19:50:00.000+08:00

My hamster has made a grand total of 3 attempts to escape from his cage.

His 3rd time being just 10minutes ago. He climbed out of his cage and fell from my desk onto the ground. Thank goodness I managed to catch him and put him back where he belongs.

I swear my heart was beating twice as fast when I saw him climb out of his cage.

Speaking of which, I should get him a bigger cage so that he will have more space run around and I don't have to take him out as often.

Picture of the naughty hamster who keeps wanting to escape
Tazo

mis-comm

2007-11-22T22:27:00.000+08:00

In my many years of education, this has never happened.

Our prof gave the entire class of 54 people and additional 30 minutes for the exam paper today. But in actual fact, the extra half hour was only supposed to be given to one girl.

The whole episode was rather bizarre, in my opinion.

1. Half way through the exam, he was holding up a note and walking to everyone's desk to let us know that there is an additional half hour.
2. He was so flustered when he found out that he had accidentally given us additional time and then proceeded to hurriedly collect all the exam papers from us.
3. Since I was sitting right at the first seat, I could hear his conversation with the Chief Invigilator. The poor guy was told off and I must say that the Chief Invigilator was rather rude to him.

Poor guy got told off for not knowing the rules. This is like his first examination in the University and he made a boo boo.

Ah well, the paper is over. And I am at the half way mark of my never ending examinations! Woot woot!

I am taking a break for tonight. Shall continue the war tomorrow.

Ciao!

i feel :: drained ::

water baby

2007-11-17T22:18:00.000+08:00

Lets101 - Free Online Dating

change

2007-11-16T23:27:00.000+08:00

I have decided to change my blog address. So that some undesired people will not be encroaching on MY private space.

But all this can wait till after my exams. And I need to think of a nice name for my new blog..

For now...

It's back to my books

progress? wad progress

2007-11-13T23:44:00.000+08:00

I've just sealed my fate for the next 6 months. I hope it is a wise choice.

On another note, studying has been totally inefficient. Progress is slow and nothing much is getting into my head.
And the lack of time is not helping at all.

Gosh, I am already counting down when it hasn't started

hectic weeks

2007-11-09T12:43:00.000+08:00

I probably had the busiest 2 weeks of my life..

Final project deadlines were enough to keep me up to my neck. And other matters in my family kept me even busier.

I think nobody else has gone through a situation remotely similar to what my family has gone through. Everyone is indeed washed out and exhausted.

Now, it's time to go into full gear to prepare for my exams. This is by far the worst semester I've ever had. I've never felt so unprepared and so unorganised in any of the 4 semesters that I have gone through.

But I am facing major inertia. I don't know where or how to start studying. What an 'excellent' semester this has to be.

her exquisite life

2007-11-02T14:32:00.000+08:00

As a daughter,
She was thoughtful and filial.
As a friend,
She was reliable and loyal
As a sister,
She was dependable and strong
As a wife,
Her love was undying
As a mother,
She was selfless
As a grandmother,
She was a dream come true.

Grandma's life was truly an exquisite one. She led a life like no one else did.

Her smile always brightened up the room. She was always concerned for those around her. Her little acts of concern were subtle but made a huge impact. All that she did, we will always remember. She was a darling in our family, and will always remain as one.

There is too much to be said about my grandmother. Her little idiosyncracies always made us amused. All these little things about her will be forever remembered. There is be a special corner in my heart that is kept for her.

a peaceful departure

2007-10-28T23:14:00.000+08:00

The phone call at 6:30am in the morning literally brought my world down. I sat in my bed stunned for a good 5 minutes before the news hit me HARD

My dearest grandmother had left us for a better world.

To think that just the night before, we were gathered in her living room and talking to her. She even made J buy fried noodles back for all of us.

Everything was just so unexpected. The only consoling fact is that she left us in her sleep, free of pain and suffering.

Am really worried for Grandpa now. He is unusually calm and composed, and it is worrying. I can almost imagine how he feels to have lost the love of his life.

I can't describe how I am feeling now. It feels like a ton of bricks hit me on my head and I am still recovering from shock.

It's going to be a long week for us. I must remain strong.

I miss you 婆婆.

i feel :: indescribable ::

gross

2007-10-26T22:47:00.000+08:00

Some people are not the least bit considerate in public places.

I was at the gym this evening and was about to walk into the showering area when I saw a USED tampon lying on the rack.

wtf!!

There is no reason for something like that to be there. Being totally grossed out, I half contemplated not showering and head straight back home from the gym.

Whoever who left it there must have absolutely no consideration for other users of the showering area.. *pukes*

i feel :: disgusted ::

my friends

2007-10-19T23:59:00.000+08:00

What would I do without these people in my life.

My days would be in black and white. I would not be able to live past a day without them.

Everytime when I meet them, my spirits are lifted and Venetia becomes a happier girl. Even if it was just a short coffee session like today, I'm still glad that I traveled to town to meet them.

I rarely laugh so hard and this group of friends never fail to crack me up.

I love my friends. :) Thanks Yan Wen, Sari, Dylan and Rong Jun for making my day..

On another note, YY's baby is absolutely adorable. I think he is the most adorable thing that I've ever seen in a long long while. I just wanna kidnap him home! Looking at that little bundle makes me want to have my own kids! So I can hug and plant all my kisses on him..

just for fun

2007-10-16T21:10:00.000+08:00

Random meme to relieve some stress.

You Should Date An Italian!

You love for old fashioned romance, with an old fashioned guy
An Italian guy is the perfect candidate to be your prince charming
If your head doesn't spin enough, just down another espresso with him
Invest in a motorcycle helmet - and some carb blocker for all that pasta!

Which Foreign Guy Should You Date?

Hmmm.. I should learn from KY-jie2.. ^_^

i feel :: stressed ::

till then..

2007-10-14T21:01:00.000+08:00

I will try not to mention anything. Don't know if i will be able to hold my tongue.

It's just 2 months plus till the end of the year. 10 weeks more.

When 10 weeks is up, I will plan my next step.

Ok, back to work.

under that surface

2007-10-13T22:53:00.000+08:00

I totally understood what you were trying to tell me.

Call me stubborn.. But I am quite sure that I will work things out.

thanks.... but no thanks

2007-10-09T23:16:00.000+08:00

Now that I have gotten some things off my chest, it would be slightly more appropriate to write it here.

I've had it with people who take my trust for granted.

When I got to know you, I treat our friendship with utmost sincerity. The very least I could ask for, was for you to look at the friendship at the same way that I did.
For the brief 2 months that we were friends, you treated me like an idiot. You told me things that all seemed so true and brought me up into the clouds. And you brought me right down smack in the face.

Turns out that all you have said is probably just a fraction of the truth. Or worse, all fake.

Now you tell me that you want to remain friends and hope that I won't ignore you when we see each other. Don't you think it's a little too much to ask for?

After how you treated me and how you disregarded our friendship. You should be thankful that I did not kick you or spew vulgarities on Monday when I met you.

Don't come to me now sounding all regretful and miserable. When I sincerely wanted to have a cordial relationship with you, you decided to blow ALL your chances. I don't need friends who betray my trust. I don't need friends who treat me like an idiot from Day 1 that they know me.

I've learnt my lesson the hard way this time. A bad case of trust misplaced.

'Cos of cases like that, I'd rather stick to my small group of friends. There is no point in getting myself all upset over people who aren't even worth my time.

i feel :: peeved ::

revelation

2007-10-03T00:40:00.000+08:00

You know that your hamster is eating too much, when...

You put him inside his exercise ball and find 15 pellets of poop on the ground five minutes later.

Tazo is going to get lesser food and more exercise!

sun, sand and the sea

2007-10-01T16:14:00.000+08:00

For the entire recess week, I'd been busy with my work. So the monster took a day off on Friday and both of us scooted over to Sentosa to take in some sea breeze. Boy am I glad that we took this one day break.

Some photos that we snapped that day. The sun was really unforgiving, so we did not stay for long. The last time I went to Sentosa with the monster was 2 years ago. So I really enjoyed myself on Friday. :)

on the sky ride
doing the tourist-y thing very well
just horsing around
failed attepmt at acting cute
hot and sweaty... but no doubt happy :)
macro shot

i feel :: sleepy ::

just a night of...

2007-09-30T13:30:00.001+08:00

... pure good music

No fanciful costumes
No outrageous stage deco
She even didn't speak much

Just good singing and touching songs..... And 5 encores

...I was totally mesmerized by her crisp voice...

Her songs are still ringing in my head and I can't be more glad that I went for her concert last night.

...我會永遠記住這個毫無保留的夜晚...

I just wanted to stay in that hall for the whole night and listen to her sing.

The company just made the whole experience even more unforgettable. I cannot imagine myself going for Cheer's concert with anyone else other than YW and D..

I am already looking forward to the next time she comes to Singapore.

i feel :: dreamy ::

a new coat

2007-09-25T09:58:00.000+08:00

My dad has finally decided to re-paint the house.

And the painters have just started moving into the house. The house has never looked that bare. The shelves are stripped, our study tables are cleared. Even the curtains are taken out.

I have been banished to the living room 'cos they are starting with the rooms.

Even my hamster has to be kept outside the house. I dowan him to smell the paint and be knocked out. So he will be living in the stairway for at least 3 days..

Bleh.. I can already smell the paint.

i feel :: sweaty ::

lost and found!

2007-09-24T02:44:00.000+08:00

After 4 torturous days!!!

I found it!!!

i feel :: ecstatic ::

heck it

2007-09-23T23:22:00.000+08:00

I have half a mind to just hand up the un-finished assignment. Or worse still, don't even hand it up.

I don't think it's worth that much of my time to slog through the entire thing.. When it is worth so little.

I spent a whole hour on ONE PART of a question! Issit even worth my time..

i feel :: like I am wasting precious time ::

gathering

2007-09-23T14:23:00.000+08:00

Had a huge feast yesterday as it was grandma's birthday!

It has always been a family tradition for everyone to gather for a dinner.. And our family is gradually expanding with the new additions! This is exciting!!

Only managed to snap a few pictures with my niece while all the other babies was lulled into dreamland, while another simply refused to smile for the camera.. So this is all I got.

the birthday girl!

cake from island creamary

with my ever adorable niece

such a cheeky look!

Hopefully those who are overseas will be around. You know I am talking about you.. :)

i feel :: happy ::

cooked

2007-09-22T18:00:00.001+08:00

I cooked my wrist during dinner yesterday... And it looks disgusting now..

Not only that.. It hurts like crap..

cooked flesh

I really ought to be more careful and stop adding wounds to my already scarred limbs..

i feel :: annoyed ::

poor boy

2007-09-19T21:51:00.000+08:00

Within the first week that Tazo has arrived, I get news that he is being tortured!

My niece and nephew have been scaring the shite out of him. They will force him to climb up the ladder and push him into the exercise ball.

And when he goes in, they will spin the ball and put it into free wheel!! My poor baby is being put thru hell! No wonder Tazo does not dare to step into his exercise ball now. I have to coax him to go in and entice him with food..

My baby is going to be traumatised every Tuesday when those 2 monsters come to my place.

God bless Tazo.. I hope he doesn't collapse from exhaustion

i feel :: worried ::

introducing...

2007-09-15T00:00:00.000+08:00

The latest addition to my family!!

Tazo!

After much deliberation, I decided to get a hamster. It took me almost a month to decide on whether to buy, I even went online to do research..

Tazo is absolutely adorable and he's tiny! Zipping around in his cage and checking out his new home.

I haven't tried to pick him up yet, 'cos I figured that I will let him settle down abit before I try to hold him. He seems rather tensed in his new cage..

I did not buy him a partner, cos I did not want to risk having a houseful of hamsters. So the poor thing will be alone..

It's been a long time since I had a pet, and I am thrilled!!

i feel :: excited ::

fragility of life

2007-09-13T00:10:00.000+08:00

A spat of events recently got me thinking about life and how fragile it can be.

Within less than a week, I've heard enough to last me for a few years.

I might not be directly affected, but these incidents really got me thinking about how unpredictiable life can be.

Doctors might say 3 weeks. But the truth is, you don't know what to expect within the next 3 days. All you can do is to pray for the best to happen.

And the fact that my grandparents were admitted into the hospital over the weekend did not make things any better. All I could do was to go and visit them. And I've never felt more helpless. I could only stand there are look. It did not make her feel better. It did not alleviate the pain that she was suffering from.

I felt so useless as I stood at her bedside and looked.

I should learn to appreciate my family more. I suddenly feel that I have been taking them for granted for the past 21 years of my life.

Time to do some spring cleaning to my messed up life and spend time with the people who matter most to me.

i feel :: contemplative ::

just for you...

2007-09-13T00:01:00.000+08:00

Happy burp-day to my ickle monster!

Thanks for the little surprise. Made me worry, but I could not stop grinning when I found out.

Happy Birthday!! I love you! :)

set

2007-09-12T20:18:00.001+08:00

I have made up my mind. And I will try my best not to be swayed anymore.

i feel :: contented ::

seeking trouble

2007-09-09T20:57:00.000+08:00

It's me being emo again.

I always tell myself "enough is enough". But I keep finding myself turning back. Call it asking for trouble. I really wonder what I am doing with my life.

Single-handedly fucking up my own life.

There are so many things to be said, but yet I can't bring myself to speak of it. And all these things jus snowball further. A break is what I need. To give myself some "me-time". But in my pathetic state, I don't even dare to imagine the scenario, let alone live it on my own.

Just called me a confused kid. A really confused one.

I should just bury myself in work. This way, I won't have the spare time to think of all this crap.

i feel :: depressed ::

keepin' in check

2007-09-07T14:26:00.000+08:00

I really need to learn how to control my emotions at times. Sometimes even my mood swings baffle me.

One minute I can be perfectly fine, but within the next, I will feel grouchy and highyl irritable.

And more so these days, I get easily irritated by the smallest things around me. Things that are so minor nobody will understand why I am affected.

I am so irritated with myself.

i feel :: annoyed ::

to the point

2007-09-03T12:40:00.000+08:00

When I ask a question, ANSWER the question.

DO NOT tell me something that I did not ask for!

There is a reason why I asked you that question. Some people simply annoy me till no end.

i feel :: irritated ::

lifted

2007-09-02T16:45:00.000+08:00

If you have watched Ratatouille , you would have seen this short animation before.

I love the animation! It's another one of Pixar's super creations.

It would be great if I could produce such good animations. For now, I shall be contented with the video that we produced for last semester.

i feel :: impressed ::

longest ever

2007-08-30T23:53:00.000+08:00

I just spent the longest time ever on a SINGLE assignment.

3 hours last week
Whole of last night
Half of tonight

Me thinks my brain is half dead. All the excel spreadsheets and formulas really drove me mad.

And I have 3 more to come during the semester. Greeeeat

Back to work. Am I ever going to finish my work?

i feel :: sleepy ::

over-stretched rubber band

2007-08-26T00:57:00.000+08:00

It's only the 3rd week of school and I am already ranting. Not a very good sign.

I am starting to feel the stress from this semester. And I foresee it becoming worse as the weeks move on. Next week, I have deadlines for every single module I am taking.

How excellent is that.

Not only are my deadlines coming, my readings are still untouched. I haven't had the time to start on my readings and I starting to lag behind. But with the amount of readings and assignments that I have, how am I supposed to handle everything?

I'm no superwoman who has 2 brains and can do everything properly. I refuse to rush through whatever I am doing 'cos I don't want the quality of my work to be compromised. But yet I don't have the luxury of time. Time is really not on my side. At the rate I am working, I will be sleeping an average of 3 hours every night.

Enough of ranting and back to my research, surveys and write-ups.

i feel :: stressed ::

all haywire

2007-08-20T22:53:00.000+08:00

There has to be a limit to the number of fucked up people in this world right?

In that case, why do I keep coming across people that fall within this category? Do I send out vibes that attract bastards into my life?

I am totally deluded now. And tired

wasted

2007-08-15T22:57:00.000+08:00

12 hours in school is no joke..

I feel like I've just ran a marathon. My whole body feels like jelly and I don't even want to take an extra step to the kitchen to get water.

On a side note, I think my maths has all gone down the drain. I could not even solve a simple question that involved graphical methods. Oh my.. Where has all my years of maths gone to?

i feel :: exhausted ::

porky pork

2007-08-13T22:03:00.000+08:00

I steer away from pork whenever possible because I feel that it has a weird smell and taste. It is 'affectionately' known as the porky taste in my vocabulary.

I've never been a great fan of pork. And more so these few years, the overwhelming smell of pork really makes me lose my appetite when I am eating. Minced pork is fine, but not those that come in slices.

Especially pork that is not cooked properly.

I bit into a piece of badly cooked pork during dinner and I almost puked out the rest of my dinner. That's how bad it is..

Blech...

i feel :: sleepy ::

back to point 1

2007-08-11T23:27:00.000+08:00

After a week of drama, things are kind of sorted out.

I say 'kind of' because things didn't really get sorted out. Can't say for sure if things became worse or made a turn for the better. In other words, we are back to where we started out at the beginning. Nowhere...

I feel like we have made no progress since the beginning. It has always been a state of uncertainty for me.

This time round, he asked for 6 months or 1 year. No immediate response from me. But now that I've had the time to sort out my thoughts. I am going for the 6 months. There is no way I am going to tolerate another 365 days of agony.

So 6 months it will be. Nothing more. Not a single day more.

Something must be done by then.

It's been such a tough journey. I don't even dare to think about the future. I am just keeping my fingers crossed and praying that the next day will not be another drama for me to handle.

i feel :: jaded ::

yet again..

2007-08-10T02:18:00.000+08:00

Once again, I am having a sleepless night. It has become so common that I am no longer surprised. I haven't had proper sleep for at least 3 nights.

"Why..." I've asked myself this question so many times, I lost count.

The only person who can give me the answer has vanished. There is nobody else I can turn to who can give me any answers to my questions.

I feel like a lost kid in a shopping mall. With nobody to hold my hand and walk with me. Everyone tries to lend a helping hand.

But I can't see the one hand that I am looking for..

i feel :: blank ::

waiting for nothing-ness

2007-08-08T10:32:00.000+08:00

It's been radio silence for at least 2 days. And I am not taking well to it at all.

I am checking my phone every 5 minutes in the hopes of seeing something. I am hoping to just get a simple phone call.

This state of limbo has left me hanging dry for the longest time possible. And now I am getting responses like "... my mind is blank". That's not the get of answer that I want to get!

At a time like this, I no longer know what to expect. It's back to the usual waiting game which I hate.

i am :: at a loss ::

2007-08-04T13:19:00.000+08:00

Highlight of my week. I simply adore them.

beeeeeg smile for the camera :D

jiejie, i can't pose for the camera if you are hugging me like that

smiles!

i feel :: cheerful ::

paranoia

2007-08-04T00:22:00.000+08:00

Things like that really tear me apart sometimes.

Everytime I hear that he is going drinking, fear grips me. It's a kind of fear that I cannot put a finger to. There are just so many things that I worry about when he goes drinking with his friends.

... the fact that he is going to drive home half drunk. Just imagine the dangers
... the kind of stupid things he can do under the influence of alcohol.

Of the two, I am definitely more concerned with the 2nd one. And there is strong basis for my thoughts to steer towards that side. After all, he HAS done things with irreversible effects when he was under the influence of alcohol in the past.

And my world literally came crashing down when I found out about what he had done. The last thing that I want to hear is for him to make the same 'mistake' again. I think I will go berserk if that happens.

All these thought in my head is driving me nuts. I might just suffer from a nervous breakdown if I am put through this again. Unfortunately, this other person as mentioned above does not understand why I object so violently to his drinking.

Damn, it's going to be another sleepless night for me.

i am :: kept awake 'cos I am worried ::

Update: It was all uncalled worry. As I clarified everything with him today. I feel more at ease. Venetia should really stop worrying so much about such stuff.

childhood dreams

2007-08-01T22:17:00.000+08:00

Since young, I've always had a fantasy about weddings. Not just the wedding ceremonies alone, but the marriage as well. I have always thought that marriages are eternal.

And today, a friend of mine evoked all these warm and fuzzy feelings in me again. I received a link to a photographer's website and was browsing through his collection. The pictures of couples on their wedding days as well as their outdoor shoots made me melt.

Those pictures are the epitome of the love that is shared between couples. They only see the other party in each other's eyes. Other things in the world just seem so insignificant at that very moment that the pictures are snapped.

Of course, I know that it's not that picture-perfect. I have learnt about the ugly and cruel side of life. And reality is far from what I thought.

But I still hold high hopes that one day, I will be swept off my feet by that one guy. That guy will be my Prince Charming.

And I am still waiting for him to appear...

Till then, I should just wake up from my dream and come back to reality.

i feel :: dreamy ::

travel mood

2007-07-31T14:45:00.000+08:00

Just a simple meme on a boring Tuesday afternoon.

I can't wait for my 2 darlings to come over! At least I won't be so bored.

Your Travel Personality Is: The Adventurer

For you, travel is how you learn about the world. And you like to learn the stuff that's not in guidebooks.
You truly have wanderlust. When you're not traveling, you're dreaming about where you'll go next.
And your travels are truly legendary - they leave you with stories you'll be telling for the rest of your life!

What's Your Travel Personality?

i feel :: bored ::

cruel reality

2007-07-26T12:53:00.000+08:00

I need someone to understand what I am feeling.

Not someone who treats everything as a joke and laughs it away. Worse still, just pretends that everything is fine and dandy and choose not to talk about it.

You said you will stand by me. But I always feel that I am all alone.

There is really no point if I need to withstand all on my own. It makes everything meaningless.

cockle bug

2007-07-25T00:06:00.000+08:00

The monster is having a tummy upset. And we think it's probably from the cockles that he ate during lunch today.

He's been having the runs and has made several trips to the toilet. I feel bad 'cos I gave him my share of the cockles this afternoon. It could be a case of too much cockles in one sitting. Or maybe the cockles were not cooked properly.

If it was 'cos of the sheer amount of cockles that he wolfed down, I would feel so guilty.

Hopefully a good night's sleep will make it better tomorrow. For now, I can only wait to hear from him tomorrow morning to see if he is ok.

i feel :: worried ::

it's all a game

2007-07-23T00:58:00.000+08:00

Was watching Pride just now. And I am starting to love the show.

Somehow, I feel that I can relate to the female lead. She is perpetually waiting, even when she knows that the wait will probably not result in anything.

And she said something that I felt was so true.

"In the past when I decided to start waiting, I was so sure.
Now as I continue in this waiting game, I start to lose direction and confidence in myself.
I am no longer happy with the way things are now.
I need to find myself and my own direction amidst all this."

Her lines hit the nail right in the head.

After all, this is all a game. When there are winners, there are bound to be losers.

The only question that we have to answer is, "Are we ready to be the one who loses?" For now, I am not ready. But I might be... eventually...

i feel :: pensive ::

hairy business

2007-07-20T00:00:00.000+08:00

It took me 3 long months to decide on it. But I eventually did it.

Venetia went for a (long overdue) haircut 2dae..

May seem like no big deal to some people. But it IS a big deal to me. Considering the fact that I always take months to decide before mustering enough courage to walk into a hair salon.

I am lovin' my new hairstyle. My hair is still long, but significantly shorter than what it was previously.

i feel :: refreshed ::

freedom

2007-07-16T16:13:00.000+08:00

Today marks the first day where I don't have to wake up @ 7am and head down to Tanjong Pagar.
And weirdly, I woke up at 7:30am and could not go back to sleep.

I am embracing the new found freedom that is upon me. Jus hoping that I won't get bored with having nothing to do.

One thing to look forward to, I am going to sign up for diving lessons! On the week of 30th July. Looking forward to ir 'cos I've been wanting to learn diving for the longest time.

Anyone who is keen to join me, can text or call me and I will give you the details.. :)

i feel :: relaxed ::

4 letter word

2007-07-13T22:35:00.000+08:00

A very innocent 4 letter word got me into trouble today. For no rhyme or reason, I got a scolding. And it kind of pissed me off, 'cos she obviously doesn't know what I am going through.

And this 4 letter word is ...... LAZY

I am truly amazed at how some people can pick out the simplest things I say and leverage on that to start off a scolding session..

All I said was that I was lazy to stay on in my internship for one more week. And that I did not want to go to SDBA. Apparently, all she hears is the lazy part, but she fails to understand why I say what I said.

Firstly, I do not want to continue in my internship because I think I really need a break. I started work one week after my exams and I've been working everyday since. Out of my 3 month vacation, I have already worked for 2 months plus. Isn't that enough? Shoudn't I be entitled to at least 3 weeks of proper rest before the next semester starts? Out of the 3 months, I have decided to take the initiative and look for an internship. When you found out about the internship, did you even bother to commend me for being enthusiastic? No you did not.

Secondly, the reason why I don't want to go down to SDBA is because I am really tired. I barely slept last night and I really want to catch up on my sleep tonight. But because of this SDBA, I need to wake up at freaking 6:30am. Does she know the meaning of tired or worn out? Apparently not.

It can get so exasperating sometimes when your extra efforts are not recognized. But yet, whenever you make a mistake, people pounce on that opportunity to criticise you. And the worse thing is, they can just go on and on when you only want some peace.

That's why sometimes I feel that it is better to live in seclusion. Then at least I won't have to get shit for the smallest things that really doesn't matter.

i feel :: annoyed ::

um-mm

2007-07-12T14:39:00.000+08:00

Dessert after lunch is a luxury..

I finally tried the much raved about dessert. It was good. Just a tad sweet.
But that's what dessert is all about right?

Just an interesting note, my office has been invited to record some pledge for a program. And the whole office is practicing the Chinese pledge for the whole day. It's quite funny to hear people who speak English all the time utter some Chinese words.

And I am gloating b'cos I won't be in the office during the recording since it's going to be my last day tomorrow..

Ok! Back to work

i feel :: contented ::

chao tar

2007-07-10T00:19:00.000+08:00

The sun on Sunday gave me 2nd degree burnts.

I am so badly burnt not that I cannot even move my arms properly. I can oni imagine more agony to come. And it will look gross when the skin starts to peel off.

Attempted to take a picture, but din turn out very nice. Anyhow, check out my burns..

Have been smearing aloe vera all over my burnt arm in hopes that the peeling won't be that bad. But I honestly think it won't help much..

None the less , better to try than to leave it as it is..

i feel :: in pain ::

2007-07-05T21:02:00.000+08:00

Love this picture. Love the off-focus background and the warm colours.

gift-shopping

2007-07-03T23:34:00.000+08:00

You know when you are no longer THAT young....

... when you start fretting about what present to buy for your niece's 3rd birthday.. It used to be just deciding what to buy for friends' birthdays.

My niece's birthday brings a whole new meaning to buying gifts. It feels odd to be buying gifts for a 3-year-old.

Any suggestions from anyone?

i feel :: thoughtful ::

...730

2007-06-30T00:06:00.000+08:00

days... That's how long it has been.

To my ickle monster...

And Venetia is hoping that there are many more 730 days to come. I have never thought that I would be able to hang in there for so long, but I did. And more so now, I am determined to continue doing so.

You still make my knees go weak. You will make me nervous. My heart still palpitates when I see you. It always feels like a first date with you.

Hope I don't jinx anything. I love you.

i feel :: speechless ::

smiley..

2007-06-27T19:47:00.000+08:00

No reason for this post...

Jus 'cos Venetia is in quite a good mood

i feel :: at peace ::

Edit: maybe not that fantastic a mood afterall

just one of those days

2007-06-22T23:30:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I wonder.

Why do I put myself through all this? There has to be a way out. But I choose to stay and bring myself misery.
My friends have probably given up trying to advice.

Sometimes I feel.

There is just too much uncertainty and guessing. I have grown tired from trying to guess and speculate.

Maybe that's a sign.

i feel :: pensive ::

sniff...

2007-06-19T01:00:00.000+08:00

Many people probably have seen this. But I am still putting it here. The first time I watched it, she brought tears to my eyes.

This 6-year-old girl is amazing. I've never heard anyone her age sing like that.

i feel :: impressed ::

puzzled

2007-06-17T21:38:00.000+08:00

This afternoon, I had a weird dream.

I woke up from my nap wondering what that dream meant. And the funny thing is, I actually remembered the small parts of the dream. Normally, when I wake up, I will forget my dreams.

I am getting a little tickled by just thinking about that dream.

Just some ramblings on a slow Sunday evening.

everything

2007-06-16T12:15:00.000+08:00

I absolutely love this song. And chancing upon the MTV made me love it even more!
Interesting concept for a MTV.

But you know a particular handphone brand probably has a part it in.. :)

Enjoy...

it's the time of the year again

2007-06-14T23:29:00.000+08:00

Results have been announced. And it's the mad rush for tutorial and lecture time slots again.

This time, it is exceptionally difficult 'cos there are lesser modules offered. And very unfortunately, the module that I want to take clashes with one of my major modules. So I'll have to give one up.

It seems like this time round, there are lesser modules offered. And I will probably end up taking some modules 'cos I have no other choice.

My head is about to split from all this planning.

i feel :: stressed ::

keeping quiet

2007-06-10T21:24:00.000+08:00

Silence is not always golden. Especially when there are things that needs to be talked out. Keeping quiet will only make matters worse ‘cos nothing will be solved and the problem will still remain there.

These unsolved business will eventually come back and bite you in the ass. So why don’t you want to settle it now?

I no longer buy the usual ’not say and forget about it crap.

I feel :: exasperated ::

to and back

2007-06-08T22:15:00.000+08:00

I'm back from my holiday in Hong Kong.

This is going to be a long post. With lots of thoughts. So if you are no prepared to hear all this sappy thoughts. STOP now

Despite the sweltering heat, I enjoyed myself. Only thing.. I did not do enough shopping!
I felt a little bummed out on the plane today as I felt that I did not make use of the chance to shop as much as I could.
It was enjoyable spending 5 days with A. It was nice having his companionship for this short period of time. I did not expect it to be smooth-sailing read: either of us being upset, tempers flaring [and yes, that happened] I guess that is part and parcel of travelling with a partner.

As usual, the pensive Venetia within me started to act up. There were instances when I allowed my thoughts to wander and start to think about things that I told myself to put aside for the time being. Naturally, these thought started eating on my emotions and I became a grump and was upset over the same things all over again. I did not want to voice it out as I did not want it to escalate into a quarrel on foreign lands.

But keeping these thoughts really did me no good. I have done this before and should know better how these negative thoughts tend to affect even my best moods. But I still allowed my emotions and thoughts to get the better of me. I think it was pretty obvious that I was upset, and it caused A to be upset at times as well. But there are things which I really cannot control. There is no way I can tell my brain not to think about those unhappy things.

Truth be told, I've been thinking more about it than I did previously. Maybe it's the holidays that allows my brain to wander around and think of all these unnecessary things that affects my mood. I've been wanting to talk about it, but could not find a suitable time to do so. And this resulted in more negative emotions being bottled within me. And I am starting to lose control. I no longer know how to handle the situation. There have been occasions when I just want to take the easy way out. But it is not that easy to let go. I have heard the same piece of advice at least a million times. But it really is not easy to act on it. Even when I have made up my mind, I will start to waver when I consider other factors.

All these thoughts kept to myself finally reached the limit on board the plane this afternoon. Thank goodness I did not have any other passenger sitting on my right-hand side. As I sat at least 100,000 feet above the ground, I started thinking again. I contemplated the different approaches and routes that I could take. And I just lost it. The tears just could not stop flowing. I tried listening to music to distract my thoughts, but the songs just led to more tears. End of the day, I still don't have an answer to all the questions that I have in my head.

In other words, I am back to square one where I am lost and upset. And my thoughts are still running this very moment.

On to the next topic...

Results were announced today. And as usual, ,my results look the same as they always do. If my calculations are correct, there might be a small teeny chance for me to pull up my GPA. So all the hard work that I put in last semester has seen result. I am most pleased with a particular module that I slogged my guts out for. Kind of screwed the exams, but still managed a decent grade.

Next will be the planning of my timetable for the next semester. I foresee more bloodshed as we all try to fight for the most popular tutorial time slots and see whose fingers can click that mouse button faster.

NEXT... i told you it is going to be a long post

I saw someone online and let's just say that Venetia is less upset. I wasn't expecting to see G online. So it was a pleasant surprise. Managed a short chat before both of us scooted away to other things. Me to typing this uber long post. And G to watching a movie. So I am feeling slightly better.

I think that is enough of verbal diarrhoea for a night.

Hopefully a good night's sleep will do wonders to my mood. It feels funny returning to a small single bed when I've been sleeping in king and queen size beds for the past 4 nights.

i feel :: blank ::

entry from the airport...

2007-06-04T14:56:00.000+08:00

... just 'cos I am feeling bored while waiting to board the plane bound to HK.
I am arriving in HK at 7:30pm!

Note to self: NEVER travel alone.. It can get incredibily boring~~

i feel :: bored and excited ::

all my bags are packed...

2007-06-03T23:02:00.000+08:00

... i'm ready to go

In less than 24 hours, I will be heading off to Hong Kong. I am almost done with the most dreaded packing and am looking forward to setting foot on Hong Kong.

The last time I went to Hong Kong was about 10 years ago. So I'm rather excited to go and see how the place has changed.

Meanwhile, I will be attempting to contain my bubbling excitement.

i feel :: hopeful ::

pathetic

2007-06-02T11:56:00.000+08:00

Woke up feeling a miseerly 2%..

Even I am perplexed at why my moods can change like that. Not surprising that people around me don't understand me at all.

And I just yelled at someone who happened to call at the wrong time. *sorry*

i feel :: grouchy ::

of addiction

2007-05-31T10:34:00.000+08:00

... to MSN

Despite the fact that I am connected to MSN during the 9 hours I am at work. One of the first things I do when I get home is to connect onto MSN.

I feel weird when my laptop is switched off. Call it withdrawal symptoms.

This spells trouble. Big trouble.

Must really do something about this addiction. Maybe I should use cold turkey. Someone, anyone, HELP

Update: I have resigned to the fact that it is an addiction that I cannot cure. Accepted the fact that MSN is not a part of me. Hah.. Talk about no determination. Just 12 hours ago, I was thinking that I should rid myself of this addiction.

enjoying life

2007-05-30T22:06:00.000+08:00

It's the eve of a public holiday. But ven is lifeless-ly sitting at home.

Wanted to go out for a drink or clubbing. But today is Wednesday. All night spots or water holes (as quoted by ZH) is probably going to be packed.

So I opted out of that idea. 'Cos I dowan to smell of second hand smoke & 'cos I dowan to squeeze with everyone else, fighting for a standing space.

So I am sitting at my table here.. Listening to Josh Groban and enjoying some me time. Now that's what I call life.

Packed day tomorrow.. So I'd better be prepared.

Back to listening my music.

i feel :: at peace ::

land of the rising sun

2007-05-29T23:48:00.000+08:00

That's the winner of Ms Universe 2007. Finally Asia clinches something.

Only managed to catch the last 3 minutes when they announced the winner. So I shall keep my comments to myself.

I was more intrigued by the 'cabinet' of girls that was in the background. They looked like a collection of porcelain dolls. But I must say that it was an interesting way to let the other contestants have some limelight. Rather than just selecting the top 5, while the other girls will stay in the backstage and watch all the action. Now they can actually be on the stage.

And I think I caught a glimpse of Singapore when the end credits start to run. She was right in the front congratulating Japan. I think Miss Singapore this year is rather gorgeous. Compared to the previous few years, I would say that she ranks top few in the looks department.

Shall try to catch the repeat telecast of Miss Universe to see for myself why Japan deserves to win.

i feel :: sleepy ::

prowess of the sun..

2007-05-27T22:13:00.000+08:00

I went for a half hour tan dis afternoon and I emerged 5 times darker than what I previously was.
Now I am feeling constantly hot, probably 'cos my dark skin is absorbing all the heat.

I left my book out in the sun for 20 mins and the pages are falling apart. I think the wax that was holding the pages together melted under the sun. That's how hot the sun was. Gaah..

Methinks we are having some sort of a communication problem over here. I am determined to get this solved before we leave for HK..

last one left

2007-05-27T09:57:00.000+08:00

We started out as 3.. Now the other 2 have decided to leave..

One for the US.. And the other is headed for greener pastures. So I am the last one in the office.

I hae an offer to somewhere else. But me being me, I can't make up my mind about making the jump. I am in a dilemma.

On a separate note, dc is in canada now. She's spending a month there and I'm sure she will have a blast there.

I love my girlfriends.. Want to meet up more with them this semester break.

Enough of Sunday morning senseless blabbering.. Scoot!

i feel :: sleepy ::

once again...

2007-05-24T22:13:00.000+08:00

... this person has disappointed me.

It has happened so many times. I have lost count.
Do your words really carry no weight at all? Does this mean that I can no longer put my trust in you?

I have tried to keep track, but I've lost count. And it doesn't mean anything to keep count anymore. Afterall, the words he says mean nothing to him.

If he chooses not to honour his word. Why should I even bother?

i feel :: numbed ::

sometimes...

2007-05-20T22:30:00.000+08:00

... it is best if you could protect yourself.

It is always the person whom you are most concerned about... This person is always the one who disappoints you the most.

Maybe it's the expectations that we have. This puts us in a dangerous and vulnerable position.

I should really do something about it. I need to control the situation.

i feel :: indescribable ::

of uncertainty

2007-05-20T19:58:00.000+08:00

... I have gradually learnt to accept the fact that nothing is for sure until I see it with my own eyes or feel it with my own hands.

Promises mean nothing..
Credibility means nothing..

I am only going to believe things that I can see and feel. Anything less than that, don't expect me to buy it anymore.

I am no longer going to tolerate this..

i feel :: disappointed ::

lesson learnt

2007-05-20T16:36:00.000+08:00

When your friends tell you that a place has lousy service or serve bad food. Don't even think about giving that place a 2nd chance. I learnt that the hard way yesterday.

The nu99ets group decided to go to a particular 24-hour cafe in town for dessert last night. And since the cafe was so prominent and none of us had tried it before, we decided to walk in. First mistake.. We should not even have considered that place. The service staff cannot even allocate a propor table to us without a glitch.

The moment we sat down, Director told us that her friend had actually told her that this particular cafe sucks. But she wanted to give the cafe a chance and see for herself if it was really THAT bad. 2nd mistake..

The people took like eternity to take our orders and our drinks too so long to prepare. And our drinks are only soda! We were contemplating walking out of the cafe for good. But we being the nice people, we did not do that. 3rd mistake..

The ONLY redeeming factor.. The food wasn't all that bad. It wasn't fantastic, but it was still fit for human consumption.

So my lesson learnt from yesterday's episode...

Some places just don't deserve the 2nd chance. Bad reviews appear for a reason. It must be something in that place that triggers off a whole series of comments.

Should you be considering a particular 24-hour cafe in a mall that has a huge cinema.. Please consider and reconsider again..

i feel :: bored ::

land mines

2007-05-17T19:36:00.000+08:00

The office today was shrouded in a tense atmosphere. I didn't even dare to breathe harder for fear of incuring the wrath of the two tigers in the office.

On normal days, they would be fine. But today was a bad day. A whole series of things went wrong.

.. everyone oni came into the office at 9:20. but I was on time! So imagine the stress
.. PR reports could not to sent out on time 'cos of some mess up in the clipping
.. clients had some challenges for our firm

And what's more, my stupid colleague does not understand the fact that my computer is not linked to the bloody printer! She was making a whole lot of noise when I asked her to help me print some stuff. If I had the ability, I would not even ask for her assistance! So stop asking me to link up the printer to my computer. I CAN'T DO THAT. B'cos my computer is a dinosaur!

Now, I am never going to ask her for help.

It's really Murphy's Law. Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.

i feel :: normal ::

cut

2007-05-15T23:35:00.000+08:00

It's hilarious seeing yourself in a video. Even more hilarious when you look like a total clown.

4 years after being involved in the production of Cut, I FINALLY saw the video. Thanks to YW.

I look like a total fool in the video! Wearing those ridiculously thick costumes with weird accessories. I was in the main group of dancers, but was strategically placed so that I cannot realy be seen. Hah..

That being said, it feels kind of weird to se myself in that video. I just can't stop laughing. 'Cos of the content, and my stupid looking self.

^_^'"

i feel :: weird ::

blues clues

2007-05-14T23:02:00.000+08:00

Call it the monday blues.. Call it ven being emo..

I feel like crying.

But there is no shoulder for me to cry on.

i feel :: lousy ::

OL-to-be

2007-05-11T19:42:00.000+08:00

Maybe it's the working near Raffles Place.. Maybe it's 'cos I need to travel so far to go to work.. Maybe 'cos I need to squeeze for some standing space in the train every morning.

I am becoming like every typical OL. I am actually happy that Friday is here. Was looking forward to Friday since Monday.

I never used to think that way when I was working in the hotel. When I was in the hotel, I looked forward to work everyday.

Wadeva. The weekend is here.

Out!

i feel :: happy ::

where art thou

2007-05-09T23:08:00.001+08:00

Where is everyone when I am looking for someone to go out with?

i feel :: annoyed ::

of evil shoes...

2007-05-07T23:27:00.000+08:00

3rd post within an evening... 'Dis is getting crazy..

Pumps are officially under my 'evil shoe list'. They never fail to bite me. And this time I got bitten on both my heels.

How do people look so pretty in pumps and walk around comfortably? I always end up hobbling.

Shall stick to my trusty slippers and strappy heels.

i feel :: in pain ::

woozy

2007-05-07T21:02:00.000+08:00

First day of work and I am already feeling out of sorts.

I spent my first intern day sitting in front of a whiteboard. Why you ask.

'Cos I was tasked with the job of cleaning a whiteboard. Normally, cleaning a whiteboard would only take 7 seconds. Ven took a total of 7 hours. And breathing in the cleaning chemicals had made me sick. I am feelin' a little light headed as I type this entry.

And why was the board so filthy? Cos the board is stuck with scotch tape that has been there for at least 3 years. So imagine the filth when all the scotch tape was taken down. All the black-ish goo that is left on the board. That's why I spent 7 hours using lighter fuel to clean up the mess.

I cleaned till my eyes went blur.. Till my finger cramped up.. Till my finger nail got bruised.. Till my feet became numb.. Till the cows come home..

I kinda like the company that I am working in. Small and cosy and I like the work culture there. My colleagues are nice and friendly, but all is too early to say. Afterall I've only been there for a day.

I have my own work station.. My own company email [THAT is making me excited].. An uber cute PPG mouse.. But my computer is Windows 98!!

Tomorrow is WIP. No clue what that is but I am excited to find out. It sounds like something interesting.

Ok! Back to my TV.. I missed 45 minutes of the finale of Amazine Race!

i feel :: tired ::

spree

2007-05-07T20:41:00.000+08:00

Went on a shopping spree over the weekend. And I am a happy girl!

I bought 2 bags within a span on 2 hours! One handbag and another duffle bag. Plus my favourite champagne chocolates. Those are the only chocolates I can eat without feeling too 'je-lat'.

I am simply loving the duffle bag! It's white and lime green. Only worry is that it'll get dirty after a while.

I feel that the bags were good buys 'cos one was bought using my birthday vouchers. And the other was quite a good deal. So I made my money's worth.

woot woot!

i feel :: satisfied ::

ignorance = bliss

2007-05-05T00:34:00.000+08:00

I want to just fall into bed and sleep now.

But there are too many things running through my mind. I won't be surprised if I can't even catch a wink tonight.

I want to turn back time. Turn it back to that very moment. Then maybe I can undo the things I did and remain ignorant. How stupid can I get sometimes?

i feel :: uncomfortable ::

ground zero

2007-05-01T17:02:00.000+08:00

Starting all over again is difficult. Especially when the gym has been your next best friend in the past.

Popped by the gym feeling determined to start on my gyming regime and keep it regular. O boy, I really wanted to slap myself for absenting myself for the gym for more than a month.

Cardio workout was painful. Just 15 minutes on the machine and I was panting like a dog and sweating like a cow. All the weights that I've built up over the month has also come crashing down. I literally had to start from the beginning.

It sucks to be working my way up from ground zero again.

I was about to bail out of the gym session when I decided not to be a wuss. I decided that a good start is half the battle won. So I held on there and walked out of the gym a fresher person!

i feel :: accomplished ::

notes...

2007-05-01T00:00:00.000+08:00

... are kept away

And will remain kept away for a good 3 months. Looking a clean study table makes me happy.

Today's paper was manageable. Some parts were surprisingly simple, but some parts challenged me mentally. O well, it's over and my fate is sealed so I shall not think too much about it.

Everyone will be coming back within these 2 days. And that makes ven an even happier girl.

Starting work in a week's time and I am excited! But that also means that I cannot stay over @ S's 21st bash. Bummer.

Ok. Time to hit the pillows and have a peaceful night of sleep

i feel :: relaxed ::

hang in there

2007-04-29T11:24:00.000+08:00

In about 30 hours, I will regain my freedom.

For some reason, this semester's exams is taking forever to finish. 30th April seems like eternity.

I want to just go into the exam hall to take the paper now! Never mind if I am not prepared. I am so sick and tired of reading and re-reading the notes on crime and punishment.

Why doesn't time fly when I want it to..

i feel :: restless ::

back in action

2007-04-22T16:55:00.000+08:00

After a month long hiatus, I decided to hit the gym again.
Not that I was lazy to go to the gym, but I was really tied down with a truck load with things to do.

So yesterday, I dragged myself there for a short but satisfying run. I really need to step up on the exercise regime again. I feel that all my muscles are turning into flab. *argh*

A month long lack of exercise is really no good. I could feel my legs becoming stubby (read: fat and short). And I was gradually growing sideways. bad bad bad...

After Wednesday's paper, I must make sure that I hit the gym religiously. No more excuses about being busy with assignments and editing. Must be disciplined!

i feel :: accomplished ::

self-reflect

2007-04-19T20:42:00.000+08:00

Who are you to question me whether there is something wrong when you've been the one who's erring all this while?
Maybe before you confront me with that absurdity, take a step back and ask yourself what you have done.

I do not deserve to be at the receiving end of all this. Even before I ask you what the hell you've been doing -- screwing up MY life.. You have the cheek to confront me!

Why do people only pay more attention to you when they think that something is wrong? Have they ever thought that if this had been a consistent effort to show concern, things would not have taken such a turn? If you choose to take a person for granted, then don't be bitter about the fact that this very same person is starting to drift away from you.

Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You

Is this such a difficult quote to adopt? It takes 2 hands to clap. You were the one who pushed me to the edge. Don't point your finger at me when you realise that things are going awry.

Go do some self-reflection. Let me finish my exams in peace.

i feel :: peeved off ::

stress press

2007-04-13T17:10:00.000+08:00

My friends get amusing in the face of stress. Lu and I had the most amazing SMS exchange just now

L: So sorry I just ran off just now! The bus came and I ran for it and forget to say bye.
V: Haha. It's ok. You ran off so fast. Wanted to say bye you were too fast
L: It's ok. We can always say bye tmr Ha.

Ha! Obviously the stress is getting to all of our heads.

Exams in 4 days time. And I am totally not prepared. Wish me luck.

i feel :: stressed ::

head zaps

2007-04-10T18:34:00.000+08:00

I've been having an annoying headache for the entire day. Ever since I woke up. It's not migrain pain.

It just refuses to go away.

Methinks it's the effects of looking too long at the computer screens and editing machines.

i feel :: sick ::

repeat..

2007-04-08T22:08:00.000+08:00

the post I just typed got deleted. So I am posting a summarised version of the original. *sulks*

I thought submitting the essay would mean that I am done with my assignments besides the final video. But I got reminded that there is still a whole lot of things to be done. The work seems to be never ending.

I highly suspect that I am going to be working on assignments till the very day before my first examination.

On a side note, I learnt a new word today. But I have absolutely no intention to record that in my bank of vocabulary. It is too gross to be even mentioned. Why is there even such a word in the English language?

i feel :: busy ::

randomness

2007-04-07T10:30:00.000+08:00

Just a random question.

Why do we scratch when we are itchy, knowing well that scratching would not help with the itch. In fact it will only make the itch worse?

No answers needed. Just a thought that came to me 'cos my arms are infested with mosquito bites

i just need...

2007-04-03T23:42:00.000+08:00

... more time to work
... someone to listen
... someone to understand
... to indulge
... some me time

i feel :: annoyed ::

full steam

2007-04-01T21:05:00.000+08:00

Filming 4 days out of one week is no joke. For me at least. All this filming has made me so pooped out that I've been zonking out at 12 plus these days. It's been a long time since I had the luxury of sleeping at 12mn.

This was how the past week went

Wednesday: filming for 202. But efforts wasted 'cos we decided to change the entire story idea
Thursday: filming for 229. Had to run over to another day 'cos of bad lighting at night

Saturday: wrap up filming for 229.
Sunday: final filming for 202.

And these production days took practically the entire day. With the exception of Saturday that took the whole morning.

And me thinks that I will be going on full steam till end of April. Next week and a half will be doing editing. Camping in the avids and in front of the linear editing machine.

Immediately after that will be exams. I have effectively only 3 days to study for my 1st paper. Only good thing is my papers are rather spread out, so I have more time to study.

Next up on my itinerary will be my semester break! In exactly one month's time, I will be free for a good 3 months. It's definitely a break that I am looking forward to.

i feel :: stressed ::

back to basics

2007-03-27T20:34:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, I wish I could take a peek into the future. At least I would know what it is installed for me. Knowing more about my future would save me from a whole lot of heartbreaks. Not only that, I won't have to make the mistakes that I am making now.

But that being said, the lessons ARE the very things that make us learn and grow up. Without these mistakes, we would never know how it feels to do something wrong. With the painful trips and falls, it will make us appreciate other things in life. Not only that, but success and happiness will taste sweeter when it finally arrives.

I've always believed in taking things into my hands and not let anyone tell me what to do or what I should do. And this kind of mentality can tire you out and make you wonder if some things should just be left to Fate or any Higher Being.

It's times like this when I feel like taking a break. I need to smell some roses and hug some trees. I wish to embrace myself again.

It seems like a weird time of the semester to start looking on the goals that I want to achieve. It's time to review what I want to do about my life and where my life is headed. Back to the beginning where I look at the various aspects of my life.

i feel :: contemplative ::

6.. 6...

2007-03-24T11:10:00.000+08:00

tagged by yanwen

Each player of this game starts off by giving 6 weird things about themselves. People who get tagged need to write in a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state the rules clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names.

1. I cannot take chilli. Not even a drop of chilli, 'cos it will upset my stomach. But when the hunger pangs really hit, I jus wallop anything

2. My intuition is scarily accurate. I know when something is about to happen, but I never know what exactly is going to happen. So I only gain realization when that 'something' happens

3. When I am sad and need to cry, I will have a particular VCD that I will watch. But I don't pay attention to the story, I just use it as an excuse for me to cry my lungs out becaust it is very touching

4. I like to be alone at home. It gives me time to do whatever I want without having my family see me as weird

5. I tend to think out loud. So I am normally caught mumbling to myself but nobody knows what I am muttering.

6. I rarely talk at home. I just clamp up. When I'm outside with my parents or friend, I can just go on and on. But once I step into my house, I will just shut up.

I tag : vic, ernie, shiang, xiao wei